To My Beloved Marc Dann

Holler Marc,

What's up? How're things? No crap, eh. You say you did what over the Thanksgiving Holiday? No. Get out. Get out! That old sailor O'Donnell. Who would've thought. You've got to be pulling my leg. I dunno Marc...I just don't know.

But back to it. I wanted to drop you a letter to give you a heads up on something. Since we're pals, I figured your 'ole buddy could level with you. I can level with you, right Marc? Good.

Remember back in 2006 when we all worked our asses off for Democrats statewide so we could take Ohio back? Yea, that was swell. Good times. And then election night, and the balloons, and...and...and....weeeeeeee! Hell, I still have my election night footage in my "memento box" (not a word) with all my other cool personal stuff because I figure I'll probably always have a warm fuzzy spot for E-day 2006. I know you enjoyed it too, you big bear you. Rarrrr!

Yea, I remember all that. And I remember how I voted for every single Democrat statewide because I knew we needed change, and I respected them - and you - and I just knew they'd make me proud.

And, well, they have mostly. And that pisses me off like all hell. The fact that I have to even consider saying "mostly." Because - bless your heart - you just keep punting doozies to the Dayton Daily, the PeeDee, the Dispatch, the list goes on. Hell, I'm surprised you haven't told The Lantern to "f*** off" yet. Now Marc...you said I could be candid. Calm down. I love ya', I love ya'....swear.

But seriously. Note to Leo. Note to Marc. Note to everyone over there in the AG's office. I hate what the GOP does with the law. I mean, seriously. I guess I can say that someday, some way, I'll be an attorney. I read about some of the backwards ass stuff GOPers have done from AG slots all the time (like maybe waiting till the very end to join the tobacco litigation...**cough cough** Betty Montgomery **cough cough**). I'm proud of what you guys are doing substantively.

And I love the fact that you're an unabashed bulldog. Marc Dann doesn't take crap. I love that. Charter schools. Sex offenders. Whatever. Whatever. You'll get them all. And you've got no problem going after Bobby Bennett with a smile on your face. Dann's the Man in the a** kicking department. Man that makes me smile when I think about how many folks in our party could use the sort of spine you've got.

But...well...we've got a problem. The two of us, and the state of Ohio, and the voters and what not. You see, you're sort of starting to get us some bad press as a party. Let me be frank.

DAMMIT, STOP WITH THE STUPID MEDIA SLIP UPS!!!!!

Whether you're going all loose cannon style on a reporter dropping the F-bomb like a dumb blogger (I understand, you were being protective), or comparing your day to Christ's on a public email account, or failing to take steps to insulate a completely legit SUV purchase from bad PR, or your numerous hiring folleys, or maybe the whole reprise of the SUV problem when you pimped one out...it's safe to say we've had problems in the AG's office.

Y'all have no one to blame but yourselves for giving the media and the GOP the opportunity to hammer you on this stuff. Consider this an intervention. I want to be able to successfully re-elect a Democratic AG that cares about using the rule of law to protect everyone in 2010. Don't screw that up because we're not running a tight ship. Do it for me. Do it for Fernsy. Hell, do it for the whole damn Youngstown-Warren city pride thing. Whatever. Just get it done. Please. Tighten up the ship.

I'm glad we had this talk buddy. We still on for cornhole and T-bones next week? Sweet, deal. I'll bring the tunes.

Peace,

BSB