I had the strangest dream...

In a stunning last minute upset, Ken Blackwell was somehow elected governor of the state of Ohio. The man who, mere weeks earlier, was viewed as a drag on the entire Republican ticket, stepped up to the podium to deliver his acceptance speech.

He started his speech, of course, by thanking God, and also the many instruments God had worked through to make this day possible. Russell Johnson, Phil Burress, Rod Parsley...now that I come to tell this story, maybe the word he used was "tools" rather than instruments.

But that's not important right now. After all the obligatory thank yous, Mr. Blackwell went on to say, "I'd like to clarify a misunderstanding that persisted throughout my campaign. Somehow people have gotten it into their heads that I plan to privatize the worker's comp, education, the Ohio Turnpike...well, pretty much everything, frankly. And that's simply not true."

"I said piratize, not privatize. Those words sound kinda similar, don't they? I can see where you might get them mixed up. But, I assure you, my goal is to piratize these programs, and many others." With a steely gaze, Blackwell then added, for emphasis, "Aaarrghh!"

Whew! You can't imagine how relieved I was when I woke up. None of it really happened! We're still more than two weeks out from the election, and Blackwell is still doing miserably in the polls. But I share this dream--this nightmare, really--for the benefit of any poor misguided souls out there who have somehow been convinced that Ken Blackwell has "good ideas" for the future of this state. I'm looking at you, Cincinnati Enquirer.

If voters hand the keys to the state to Ted Strickland this November 7, I have high hopes that, working with the state legislature, he really will be able to "TurnAround Ohio." I understand, of course, that there are no guarantees. But I am fairly certain that if we hand Ken Blackwell the keys, he will, in the style of Toonces the Driving Cat, send Ohio careening over a cliff.

And then privatize--I mean piratize--the necessary repair work.