Greatest Moments In NASA History

Well Ohio, we’ve been passed over by NASA to host a space shuttle. You know, despite producing two of the most famous pioneering astronauts and the people who invented the airplane.

But to prove we’re not sore losers or anything, I’d like to take some time to highlight some of the greatest moments in NASA’s history:

NASA finds cocaine in Space Shuttle hangar

Hey, maybe that’s why you thought New York City really didn’t have enough for it’s residents to do already. But we won’t hold it against you, it was surely just a one time thing.

NASA Finds Cocaine At Space Center--AGAIN

Or, maybe not. I guess giant rocket thrusters aren’t the only way to get high.

Search Is on for Original Apollo 11 Footage

Everybody losses stuff from time to time, but you’d think the video footage of the first moon walk might be a little better taken care of.

And of course, the shining crown jewel:

Astronaut arrested on attempted kidnapping charges

Who could forget the wonderful tale of the astronaut love triangle that lead to one of these carefully screened astronauts to drive halfway across the country in a diaper to kidnap her romantic rival.

So you see NASA, we’re not bitter at all. You pathetic bunch of pocket-protector wearing pansies.