Apparently, the GOP hasn't seen "The Princess Bride" before

modernesquire — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 20:20:22 -0800

Whether it's self-proclaimed (I'm not making this up) exorcist Governor Bobby Jindal, "golf-outing tan man-of-the-people" John Boehner, or "don't I remind you of Newt" Eric Cantor, the GOP response on opposing everything Obama is the same: "We'd love to help the guy out but we can't betray our core values of limited government and fiscal conservatism."

When it came to creating a big prescription drug benefit under Medicare that was introduced by the Republican Speaker of the House, John Boehner and Eric Cantor voted "Aye." PATRIOT ACT? Ditto. Every appropriation bill and emergency resolution giving a Republican President every dime he wanted even though it meant a double of the national debt? As Sarah Palin would say, "You betcha." All three.

And that was what they were willing to do when things, according to them, were just ducky in the economy. But at a time when private capital is frozen and people aren't buying anything, suddenly the GOP thinks its nuts to think that buying shit when you're the government stimulates the economy... even if the government is the only entity willing or able to buy anything.

President Bush wants a defense contractor that doesn't build helicopters to build a new Marine One fleet? Here's the check, President Bush, we just made it out to "Cash" and left the amount for you to fill out later, sir. Two months after Bush is gone, suddenly, McCain wants to know why President Obama wants a new Marine One (that Obama never asked for and is still on the books because the one the Bush Administration ordered has yet to be built and delivered.) Suddenly, Obama's the prick?

Apparently, "core values" is Republican for "things we believe whenever Democrats control the White House and Congress."

The biggest punch line of the night was Jindal honestly conceding that his party didn't adhere to those values for the last eight years, but there's nothing suspect about their new-found love of these "core values." No, all they're trying to do is restore trust. How any conservative could believe that this time, the Republican Party will be different if only they could get back in power to prove it is sad. Sad like a friend who consistently takes back a derelect spouse who swears this time he'll keep a job and stop drinking "for the baby."

It's as disingenious as Jindal claiming that Republicans were justified in opposing one of the largest tax cuts ever that the stimulus package provided because it might require higher taxes in the future. Imagine what the Republicans would have said if the Democrats had used that line of reasoning to justify opposing the Bush tax cuts. Oh, wait, you don't need to imagine, we already know: they mocked that as silly nonsense from a party desparate to justify their partisan vote for higher taxes.

To the GOP: You keep using that term. "Core values". I do not think it means what you think it means...

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Apparently, the GOP hasn't seen "The Princess Bride" before